Maria Fernanda Marin – Graphic Design
Maria Fernanda Marin – Creative Writing
Inspired on my own lifestory –
The worst thing about being too transparent is that you can become invisible
And at that moment… no one can see you or hear you, even if you say it loud and clear
You are in a cold and dark place, where no one can touch you, or hug you, no one can see your tears
Even if you shout it… you no longer exist
What you thought was there is suddenly gone and now, it’s only you, and yourself
What held you now let you down, now there is only air, in which you vanish, slowly… painful… like the last breath of an agony, you can’t scape
The same ending repeats itself in a loop, over and over again, it covers you, it traps you… you can no longer get out, you just close your eyes but you can’t scape
You feel that you are useless, worthless, that there is no hope, you are not useful, there is no place for you, not for you… because it is you
You are forgotten, but you don’t forget
You never forget… life hits you, breaks you, destroys you
You put on a mask, a smile, this one is visible, it’s nice, but still…
Even with all the signs, you’re still invisible inside
You try your best, even if is not enough, you still do, you wanna run
You don’t want to give up, even though everyone has already given up on you, you don’t wanna be the lost cause
But you can’t by yourself, broken
You don’t want… alone… ignored… it hurts
I don’t… i can’t…
I just… can’t
Scape from myself.
Christie Cox – Creative Writing
By Cli 🌻
The power of mindfulness in my search for wellness
The worry, the pain, the fear was consuming
Constant ruminating on what if and what’s looming
Lacking in facts it continued to take hold
The power of the mind in dictating how this would unfold
Powerless, consumed by feelings of losing control
The past and future thinking was taking its toll
The light of spirit and hope diminishing
What is the answer, how can this change?
Talking, questioning, endless research and reading
Yielding little results only fueled the screaming
My children, husband, family, my friends
How must they feel, how will this end?
What are my options, how can this change?
Many therapies and trials, mixtures, and fixes
Most of which failed, leaving feelings of frustration
Then something happened, one day it became clear
The power was within to dampen the despair
Within what, you might wonder, what does that mean
Through presence my friend, through simply being
Away from ruminating, past, and future thinking
Letting go of the judgments, letting go of the sinking
Allowing space to soften the tension
The pain it then settled as did the apprehension
Cutting attachment to worry and strife
Silencing its power – releasing the fear
Making space for new insights of what was really there
It wasn’t so bad, those thoughts were…….just thoughts
My mind was misbehaving and calling the shots
It ambushed my logic, my reality, my freedom
Once taken to task it quietened, it calmed
Allowing space for wisdom
Where is this wisdom, what does it mean?
It is right there my friend once given space to be seen
Clearing the baggage, untruths, and misleading’s
That can block our ability to truly feeling
Step back for a moment to notice the sounds
What can you hear, what can be found?
I hope clarity of mind as bright as the day
That will guide you to a place of freedom and peace
Not without challenge, worry or strife
All part of the human experience, all part of life
But a place of acceptance where awareness is key
Finding peace of heart and mind amidst, adversity
Understanding what is and not focusing on what could be
Allow it my friend this amazing gift
Of being here and now with only what is
Karen Purpero – Creative Writing
Today I was in one of those antiquities shops that sells all manner of plaques for every room of the house. Like, “flush the toilet so you don’t kill the cat”. I consider myself a lover of words, but I don’t want them engraved on cheap signs in every room of my house.
One in particular caught my attention today: My wife is not fragile like a delicate flower, she is fragile like a bomb. At first I thought, “Well crap!” I hate it but that is just too true of me. But, in the super special way we wives have of explaining why we are the way we are, I explained to myself (in my head, where I always agree with myself), “You know what? You are STRONG. You don’t just flop over at every gust of wind!”
I think I am like this pansy. I named her Forza. In Italian it means Strength. It’s lovely (I tell myself). It’s colorful. It looks delicate. But this crazy-strong pansy managed to push her lovely face through concrete and sand and bricks to say hello to an otherwise un-colorful front porch.
Obstacles? So what. Physical limitations? Big deal. A hand surgeon who can’t believe I can still play at all? Who says he knows everything?
The Spirit of the Living God lives within me and He wrote all the days of my life in His book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). His plan for my life, and for your life, includes obstacles. Sometimes the obstacle can seem like I’m underneath brick and mortar. And then the Lord, in His sweet way, brings this little pansy to my porch.
I love what I do and will keep doing it for as long as God allows. And my heart and spirit can rest because I know the Lord knows what is ahead on the path and He had it figured out before I was born.
I always told my kids to keep their head up when they are walking. But sometimes when you look down, you just may see something surprising.
Eleanor Bishop – Music
Rachel Han – Dance
Jennifer Stacy – Drawing
Christina Ponsell – Photography
Karen Purpero – Music
Susan Cradit – Video Performance
Susan Cradit – Photography
Leah Harris – Drawing
Sandie DePalma – Painting
Jessica Taylor – Photography
Carol Herz – Graphic Design
Kelly Dimitrov – Dance
Denise Skotek – Video Performance
Randi Chrisdoulou – Drawing & Graphic Design
Lisa Wise – Christmas Tree Design
Ashlee McKenna – Painting
Marisa Giachetti – Creative Writing
The Lost Place of the Invisible In-Between
I live in a place between healthy and acutely unwell
That which is commonly misunderstood.
It is a place of the in-between that is chronic and complex in nature. A place with great stigma.
A place where many live in secret.
The invisible in-between.
Inwardly riddled with frustration and conflict,
although seemingly “ok” on the outside.
The conflict of living with a mind that says “go” and in a body that says “no” And in return, the mind rebels.
A place of complexity,
that you often have trouble making sense of.
It’s a place of loss.
A place where the grieving feels relentless.
The losses, both tangible and intangible. The loss of body and mind.
It’s the loss of mobility.
It’s the loss of autonomy.
It’s the loss of time.
It’s the missed years and experiences
It’s the temporary loss of sanity.
It’s the loss of self.
It’s the loss of health.
It’s the loss of dreams and plans.
It’s the loss of friendships.
The loss of a body and mind that maybe you thought you once knew,
or never did.
The loss of familiarity of living in a body and mind that you once felt safe in,
or maybe it’s the very loss of that safety, stability, and familiarity that you never came to meet.
All that is lost, hurts.
Not all losses have a rhyme or reason.
And not every loss is meant to make you stronger or teach you a lesson. Loss is traumatic.
Loss hurts and loss breaks, but you are not broken.
In the invisible in-between, you are your strength. Believe it or not, you are what carries you through.
In the insurmountable moments,
the moments that feel suffocating and inescapable,
The in-between of weak and strong,
Where you’re not sure how or if you’ll make it through time and time again, you somehow still do.
A place of invisible struggle
the invisible battles, both physical and mental.
A place between defeat and overcoming.
A place of somehow managing while also feeling unmanageable. A place between succumbing and recovering.
A place where healing feels impossible,
and yet you are unknowingly taking the steps already.
A place where you feel like you have lost yourself and
continue to lose yourself over and over.
This place of the invisible in-between,
This place of great loss is a place of continuous grieving.
A place of living, breathing, enduring, suffering, struggling, managing, persevering, embracing, and accepting.
This place is also a place of continuous healing
physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
With each loss, there is a gain.
And with each gain, there is a loss.
Not all pleasant and not all troubling.
In between the times of losing yourself,
In between losing the parts of you that you continue to grieve,
you also have gained yourself.
Shedding the parts of you that needed to be shed
and gaining the perspective and self-understanding needed for you
to keep moving through the invisible in-between.
To stay open and keep moving toward new opportunities, dreams, and adventures. Not replacing what was lost but recreating and rediscovering all that can be found.
All may be lost, but you are not.
You never were.
You are somewhere chronically in-between.
I am here in this place of the invisible.
A place invisible to others.
A place of feeling chronically misunderstood.
And in this place of the in-between, that often feels lonely…
I am visible. I have lost and I am found. I have myself.
– Marisa Giachetti @chronicallymissyg